Friday, February 24, 2012

The Four of Us


At Magdalena's preschool Valentine's day party

I have been posting on this blog since before I became pregnant with Magdalena.  Life was so uncertain, but so simple.  I knew I wanted children, and at the time, we were spending a lot of time with other people who had wonderful children and really enjoyed raising their families.  I didn't know if I was ready, but I knew I wanted it. We had just gotten married, but were open to the idea of having a baby right away.


Fast forward about five years, and here we are.  Maggie is going to be five in August, and we just registered her for kindergarten at an awesome charter school.  Kindergarten!  She is so smart, and just so hilarious.  She is exactly the same person she was as a tiny baby, but there is just so much more. I fall in love with her more and more every day.  She is kind, funny, and so incredibly curious.

I am so excited for her to start kindergarten. I absolutely cannot wait to really begin her journey into reading.  Books have always been an intense passion of mine, and I hope she'll enjoy them, too.


Liam.  Oh, Liam.  He is talking up a storm and learn new words and phrases every day.  He asked me the other day, "Mommy, when is Daddy coming home?"  And my jaw just dropped.  He wants to do everything that Maggie does, and he is a great helper.  He gets into the refrigerator all the time, though, and last week I found him eating a piece of cake in his room that he quietly taken out by himself.  He still makes hilarious faces and loves to perform and dance.


Even though my life is busy with art and school, my family is obviously the biggest and most important part of my life.  Recently, I have weighing my options about school and just considering how I want to continue.  I only go to school two days a week, but there are times when it feels like I am always gone.  It is hard sometimes, especially when I realize that if I want to be a working artist, that means a lot of time in the studio. At least in the studio, the kids could be with me, especially as they get older.  As always, I am working to balance my ambitions and personal goals with my goals for my family.  

School is going so well.  I feel like a different student, like a different artist.  My teachers are so incredibly positive and enthusiastic about my work.  It has been amazing, but I also feel a sense of pressure to exceed expectations.  I can suddenly see all my hard work paying off.  It is rewarding in a whole new way.

I've been asked before if we are going to have more kids, and I have never really answered it.  
Here's my thoughts on another baby:
It certainly is not our plan to have another baby in the near future.  It is very likely that we are completely finished building our family.  My pregnancies were physically/ health wise very hard on me, and hard on  my family emotionally.  We are also committed to school for at least the next three years, and we are on a very tight budget.  Basically, we have agreed to re-evaluate things after graduation, after things have settled down and Mark has a job, and only if I lose a significant amount of weight (in hopes that the pregnancy would be easier physically).  And, even when things settle down, we might be happy with our family as it is. I am so thrilled with our family, and I couldn't imagine becoming pregnant right now.   But, who knows how I'll feel in three or four years.  So, definitely not in the near future, probably not in the distant future.


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Laura

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