Thursday, September 29, 2011

Where I'm At

I have had this weird relationship with my blog lately. I've been really enjoying all the peripheral stuff; twitter, facebook, planning blog posts, taking pictures, etc. But, actually sitting down, writing a post, and publishing it? Not so much.

I'm in one of those phases in my life where I have so much going on that it is almost impossible for me to divide it into neat, beautiful blog posts.  I really do not want this blog to turn into some angsty vent-fest, but...man.  Things are sometimes overwhelming for me. It's not even the bad things that overwhelm me, even a lot of positive changes kinda make me freeze in my tracks and wanna hide under a rock.

So allow me to clear the air and tell you what's really going on.  Otherwise, I'll just hide under a rock and not post for like two weeks. Which, I don't want...hopefully you wouldn't either.

We're moving soon. This is a 100% positive change which I have been so excited to share.  We're moving to a house, with a yard and the freedom to paint and change things as we wish.  I love the neighborhood and the fact that it's an old house with character. We'll be in the new place by December 1st.  I am so excited about this.  Like crazy-obsessed-excited.  You can expect lots of home decor posts in the near future. Eeek!

The Mr. and I have been going through a hard time lately. I feel free to share this because overall, we are so strong. We have been together for eight years and I truly love him more everyday.  But, as our lives grow and we become busier, there are more demands placed on both of us.We are so busy, and our dreams keep getting bigger and bigger.  Marriage is an ebb and flow.  Times have been hard, but we have had to get real and lay it all out.  It has been painful at times, but I am honestly so grateful for the hard-earned growth that is taking place.  And honestly,  I look at my husband and I have never appreciated him more. It is such a gift to share a life with another human being. There is no way I would be the woman I am without him by my side.

I'm not loving school right now.  I'm just not. Every class and assignment seems like so much work. I have been doing really, really well in all of my classes except Biology.  Mark is like the star student out of 90 people...I'm somewhere in the middle.  I feel like such a doof next to him.

I am so intimidated by the art world and even the other artists in my classes.  I am growing as an artist and sometimes I can't believe that I produced something that I did, but usually, I just feel like an imposter.  Sigh.

I went to Target today and almost lost my shiz because they had tons of Missoni stuff that would have fit Maggie.  And then I almost really lost it when I spied a pair of size 9 rain boots that would have perfect for me.  And then I realized the nine was a six upside down.  *Insert expletive here*

There's more to talk about but I'm tired and have to get up for school in about six hours. I'll share more soon.

6 comments:

  1. How exciting about the move! I can't wait to see pictures of the new place & see what colors you're picking out.

    I can totally relate to the school & marriage thing, too. It's been tough in my marriage recently, too. But, we're working on things. Life has a way of disconnecting you from people you really SHOULD be connected to and that seems to be the issue we're currently dealing with.

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  2. Soooo excited about the move!! Can't wait to see pics! We can compare and share tips!

    Let's talk soon, it always refreshes me when we chat and hopefully does the same for you : ) I miss you!!

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  3. I do the same thing sometimes! I don't mind the planning the post but it's so hard to actually sit down & write it. Time management is my problem. I can't get everything I want to done in one day :(

    Yay for a new place. I can't wait to see photos.

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  4. Just wanted to send you some hugs, It's hard juggling so much on your plate and then add relationship issues. But like you said it 's an ebb and flow. Good one day difficult the next, it's how you handle those times that strengthens the relationship.

    I also understand the imposter comment. I keep saying fake it till you make it, but I've been faking it for years. I create because I enjoy it but I want to do more with it but I don't feel like my work is good enough. When people comment on it I think they are just being nice. I had an art date with my friend who is an artist (and has taken art classes) and I am in awe of her work and she told me that we may have different styles but she is in awe of my mixed media work. She said that she couldn't do that, she doesn't know how to layer and get texture like I do when she tries she thinks it look ridiculous. Sometimes we are our own worst critics. I love the work you do and am in awe of it when you post. Keep it up you do a great job.

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  5. Thank you all so much for your comments. It feels so good to have wonderful people to process this all with!

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  6. I love this post. I seriously enjoy reading that I'm not the only one out there who doesn't have it all together all the time (not that I like reading others having troubles, but it's nice to not be alone, ya know?). Congrats on the house! I can relate to your desires for your home (to have a yard and have it be your own). That's not in my cards just yet, but I can relate to what you're excited for! :D

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Comments make me happy.

Thank you.

Laura

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