Today, my heart is heavy. As is my body. But, I'm taking steps to lightening both.
Before I explain, here's what I wore when we went camping with my parents and siblings last week:
Day One
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| Squinty eyes- the Sun Skinny Jean- Old navy Tank Top- Old navy Cardigan- Target Gold Jelly Flip-Flops-Old Navy Owl Necklace- Target |
Day Two
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| Yoga Pants- Old Navy Thermal- Target Hoodie and shoes- Given to me by my Mama |
We got back Saturday afternoon, just in time to go to church the next morning. I wore this:
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| Dress- Forever 21 Plus Belt- Target Wedges- Old Navy |
Being around my entire family for extended periods of time always gets me thinking about who I am and how I got here. I have been on a roller coaster of emotions this last week, and as I see my gorgeous, thin sisters and I grow jealous and upset at myself.
Yes, I take pictures of myself and put them on the internet for everyone to see. I talk about confidence and about loving yourself, but let me just say it..it sucks to be fat.
Do I have anyone to blame but myself? Nope. But, still, it sucks. It sucks that I have been made fun of my entire life because I have refused to live and dress like I am ashamed of myself.
When I was a cheerleader in high school, I was far and away the biggest girl on not only our squad, but of any of the other schools' we played against, too. Fans from the other team would laugh and point at me in my short skirt. Someone in high school wrote a list about everything they thought was wrong with me and included "she has an undeserving amount of self esteem" and "the fat hanging over her jeans is disgusting" ('Muffin Top' wasn't invented yet).
When Mark and I first started dating, a homeless man called me fat and gross as we walked by him. Frat boys would give Mark crap about being with me. The only time I have ever seen him get close to a physical fight was when someone would insult me. Once, we were out walking downtown, and a guy leaned out of his car to call me a Fat Ass. Another time, someone threw a lit cigarette at me from a car and yelled as he drove by.
This is what it is like to be fat in America.
And yes, during these times of abuse, I was the weight I am in the pictures above, or even a few pounds less. Are those images really that offensive?
So what is my goal in writing this, posting my pictures and even having a blog? I want people to understand that no matter what someone looks like or lives their life, they just want to feel normal. They want to feel free to be loved and to love. They want to live their life as they see it, without being told that they are sub-par for some reason.
I post pictures of myself because I want the world to be a different place. I want others to see that overweight or even obese people deserve to live their one life as they chose it.
Maybe you're plus size or curvy or chubby or fat...whatever you want to call it. Maybe you've been wanting to show that you can rock your outfits, but you've been nervous to link up with all the "average" sized women that normally do WIWW. Or maybe you are one of those average women, but you feel like for some reason, you don't fit in with the WIWW crowd. Or maybe you want to show your support for me and the idea of seeing youself as beautiful just the way you are. Well, I have exciting news!
Starting today, I'm beginning a new twist on What I Wore Wednesday. Wednesdays around here will now be known as "Beautiful Just The Way I Am!" I hope to create a community to support each other as we embrace our beauty (and our cute clothes) whatever we may look like- and hopefully make a step towards changing the way we all treat each other! I love linking up with The Pleated Poppy, like I did this week, and it has been life-changing for me to concentrate on my wardrobe and take beautiful pictures of myself. Life-changing, I tell you!
I will keep the linky open for the next five days, because I know this was a bit of a surprise. I truly hope you join me! And if this week doen't work for you, come back next Wednesday and join us then!
The Rules-
1. You don't have to list where you bought all your clothes- although I would love to know where everyone else gets their curvy clothes!
2. Please link to your actual post, not your blog's URL.
3. Provide a link back to http://www.thatkindofmom.com/
Link up here!
I am in tears! TEARS! Blubbering like a baby! I know exactly how you feel. Have dealt with it. I have skinny, gorgeous sisters, I have been told the most awful things. YET I love myself, I struggle BUT I know I am beautiful! I will LINK up. Thank you for sharing. Know that if you touch one person (Like ME!) this is why blogging is worth it!
ReplyDeleteXOXO,
Mandy
www.fashionistammc.blogspot.com
Love what you're doing. Hate that some people are the way they are.
ReplyDeleteI love this post....love love love. I haven't linked to WIWW because I feel self conscious and bad, but...who an I trying to impress exactly? I have taken pictures and then ripped myself apart. Why? I am going to link up here...off to write a post. Thank you for this. You rock!
ReplyDeleteLaura, I love you, I'm so proud of you. You have been beautiful since you were my 2nd grade buddy who helped me out on my first day of school and you're still just as beautiful today! You are so brave and you know I support and love you so much. This post is amazing! It breaks my heart that people are so cruel. I hope your post opens the eyes of many. Keep it up! (sorry about not doing WIWW lately, I blame the pregnancy for laziness. I'll start doing maternity editions SOON!)
ReplyDeleteLaura,
ReplyDeleteI love you so much. What a brave entry. I am happy that you have been able to forgive those sad people and release those experiences.
Love, your older sis
P.S. Thanks for the comments about being gorgeous and skinny...LOL
What an inspiring post! You are beautiful inside & out! I'm a first time visitor from the Pleated Poppy link-up!
ReplyDeleteLaura,
ReplyDeleteI wish I could take all the hurt away. I love you so much. You constantly amaze me. You are so beautiful. It sickens me how much society messes with our self image. I constantly struggle with feeling good about how I look. The pressure to be thin and "put together" is overwhelming. I am loving your blog and love WIWW. I wish I had a blog so I could link up.
I'd like to deliver you a virtual hug as best as I can through blogger. I am not going to devalue how you feel by saying I understand, because I do not. I do know, however, that I am treated very differently today than four years ago when I was 60 pounds heavier. Important most over anything else is if you feel good--and I don't just mean in clothes or talking to people. If you wake up and feel ready for the day, if you do what you need to do and aren't exhausted by it, then your life is your life, screw whoever wants to bring you down.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, kudos to you for baring it all and being so raw.
I love you just the way you are!!!! You wouldn't be my baby girl Laura. I'm so proud of you for taking the courage to write and express your self so you can help others
ReplyDeletethe above comments is from your Mom LOL
ReplyDeleteOh, Mom. Remind me to sign out of everything next time I use your computer. LOL
ReplyDeletei know this post is really old, but i just had to tell you that i've had almost the same exact experience with life, and i'm crying like a baby right now. i actually found your blog while trying to figure out inspiration for things to wear, and i saw your picture (on the pleated poppy) and thought "she looks like me..."
ReplyDeletebut you were so beautiful. and you were so bold and brave. and i mostly spend all day wishing i could be wearing a tent so no one would see me. thanks for opening up your soul. thanks for opening up mine. i wish i could hug you, and i don't even know you. you have encouraged me beyond belief. and you have changed a life just by being who you are.
thanks :)