Stream of Consciousness

So happy he fell asleep on his own. An hour and a half so far.
Making yeast doughnuts for tomorrow morning. Have dough drying underneath my fingernails. It is annoying me.
Am re-reading Twilight. Love, love, love it. Want to call Kelly to obsess over it with her. Must finally return her call. Want to call Sarah, too. Talk about True Blood. Must call a lot of people. Sigh.
Miss my sister Sarah. It almost makes me want to cry. I wish we lived in the same town. I wish we went to Starbucks together and went to Barnes and Nobles and RT all the time. Wish we watched our babies for each other while we had date nights. I miss my nephew, Nathaniel, and his perfect chubbiness. He is edible, he is so sweet! Hope we live in the same town soon.
I miss my other sister, Michelle. Texas is so far away. So much to talk about. So much to share. I want to hug my oldest sister and tell her I love her. Need to call her, too. I want to share Liam with her. She would think he was just the cutest thing ever. I miss my niece, Amelia and her extremely adorable high pitched voice and her dark curls.
Scared to make a big ham dinner for my Dad, tomorrow. Will I have the time and energy? And why am I making doughnuts for breakfast tomorrow. Made the dough tonight. Took pictures for a "pictures of food" blog I am putting together.
I miss sleeping in the same bed as Mark. He refuses to sleep in bed with Liam. Smart move because he is a very, very deep sleeper who moves around a lot. Like throwing punches and making big motions. So, he sleeps a few hours with me, but almost always ends up on the couch. Or I sleep in the recliner with Liam, or Mark will. But, not in a long time have we slept together for more than a few hours. I miss him.
Gidget has pretty much lost all control of her bladder. She is peeing in her bed and even peed on the couch today. Also peed 2 times last night, as well as pooped. It is so sad to see. I think these are her final weeks. I feel very at peace with this, although I know I will be very upset after she is gone. These last six months have been hard with her, she is deaf and senile, too. I don't exactly when it will happen, but I'm sure we'll just know when the time is right. Poor Gidgey. I love thinking about when she was so much vibrant and alive. When she could hear, and she loved to run and. I want to give her a bath and haircut, and take her on a walk. Take pictures of her with Maggie and with Liam. I am making myself cry. No more.
Liam has been crying all the time for the past day and a half. But he'll nurse and he'll sleep on someone's lap. He finally will sleep in his swing. Hope it lasts. Is it gas? We have been giving him colic tablets and gripe water. I love him so much. He had a cold this week, too. Healed wonderfully. Bounced right back. 10 pounds already! His face is filling out, so cute!
Maggie's ponytails are so cute. She looks so old!! I am obsessed with her awesomeness.
So ready for a date night. Still need to pump so someone can bottle feed him. I think Valentine's will be a good night for our first date since the baby was born. Red Tavern, I think. At least it's my request!
Waiting for Mark's financial aide for this semester to come. Hopefully tomorrow. I am going crazy with no money. Not fun. Bills to pay, and such.
Getting really sleepy now. Time to go bed.

Happy 1 Month Birthday, Liam!

Exactly a month ago, I looked like this:

Today, I look like this:

Much Better

Liam's sleep pattern has improved so much in the last four days! He has two major active periods at night, once around 10:00 pm, and then a long one in the early mornings, around 4:00 or 5:00 am. He is up for two or three hours at these times, nursing and being awake. His five hour screaming sessions stopped almost as quickly as they started, and I am just going to believe that they won't ever come back. He eats a lot in the evenings, cluster feeding for two or three hours every night. He always has another marathon eating session in the early morning. During the day, he is a power eater and only nurses for about 15 minutes at a time.
He is suddenly so much more alert and active. He likes his baby gym a lot, and will lie there, looking around, for 15-20 minutes at a time. He loves to look at the picture collage on our wall. I noticed him always un-latching and raising his head to look past my shoulder at the picture frames when he was nursing. So, now I just hold him up, resting against my chest and shoulder, and he'll just gaze at the wall.
He coos and says classic baby things like "Gah!" and "Goo". He has smiled and laughed in his sleep since he was a day old, and it is so adorable. I would never think this was possible, but so many times, in the middle of deep sleep, he will laugh for a second and then smile. I can't wait until he starts smiling in response to people.
Maggie's talking and vocab have really taken off lately. We bought her some blocks, and they came in a mesh net bag. She looked at it for a second and said, "Oh, no, caught in a net! Need scissors." She is so cute! I love to hear what goes on inside her mind. (It's pretty much what I thought..a lot of silliness and sweetness!)
She is finally starting to show a little interest for her brother. I think when he was brand new, she thought he was really boring. Now that he is awake a lot more, she can see his eyes and see him looking around. She keeps trying to share toys with him and feed him play bottles.

Off Topic: Yesterday, in Winco (ugh), I had Liam in the stroller, still strapped into his travel system car seat thingy (what are those called?!). I pushed back the cover to adjust his hat, and this old lady was suddenly right beside me, peering in. She said how cute he was, asked his age, and then his name. When I said Liam, she scrunched up her whole face and said "What?!" and I said "Liam." Then she said "Spell it for me.", and I spelled it. She then said "Oh." and walked away. I thought it was hilarious.

Back to Cooking...

Liam is almost 4 weeks old. I no longer have a good excuse to be eating out all the time, or eating microwaved meals or whatever sad excuse for a meal I happen to scrape up. I planned out a menu and am going grocery shopping tomorrow morning to make sure I have everything I need. Food network .com helped me with some of the recipes!

Monday- Burger Hut (It was delicious!)
Tuesday- Shrimp Scampi with angel hair pasta, and broccoli
Wednesday- Chicken Stir-Fry over rice
Thursday-A baked, glazed ham, scalloped potatoes, green beans ( My dad is coming over for dinner and he loves this meal!)
Friday- Slow Cooker Pork Tacos, beans, spanish rice
Saturday-At my Mom's, with my sister, her husband and my nephew!!
Sunday-Breakfast for dinner- Pancakes, sausage and fruit salad
Monday-Chili (Crockpot), salad, homemade rolls
Tuesday-Spaghetti, french bread, salad

I am so excited to be getting back in the kitchen and so ready to eat all this delicious food. I am also trying to bake as much as I can, so I hope to do some of that this week, too. I'll try and take pictures!
I modified a muffin recipe I had and made whole wheat sweet potato/banana muffins with an orange glaze a couple nights ago. The whole wheat flour made them too dense, I think, but they were pretty good. More like scones, but good!

Night Time Craziness

Night time at our house has become pure craziness and I have no idea how to stop the madness! Maggie learned that she can easily climb out of her crib, so we lowered the side so she wouldn't fall getting out. Now, she gets out of bed about 10-15 times a night (no joke). The first time she gets out, Mark gives her a hug, talks to her and might even get her a sippy cup of water or milk. The second time, he talks to her, tells her its bedtime and puts her right back. After that, we don't even talk to her or really acknowledge her presence. She just gets picked up and put back in her crib right away...over and over again.
To make things even more exciting, Liam's nights are not quiet and easy like the used to be. He always an extremely fussy period once in the day, usually from about 1:00 am until 5:00 am. During the day, he will sleep happily in his swing or bassinet for hours at a time. At night, he screams for hours and nothing will soothe him. He cluster feeds this whole time, spending 5 minutes eating, then 10 minutes sleeping, then maybe a half an hour screaming. We have tried everything we know...swaddling, co-sleeping, rocking, walking, shushing, making sure he has been burped, changing his diaper, letting him eat as much as he wants, giving him a pacifier, Mark has even taken him on a couple car rides. Maggie was even fussier than him, so we know it will go away eventually, but it has been hard lately!
Our schedules are so messed up! We try to put Maggie to sleep around 9:00, but she has taken hours to fall asleep lately, and usually ends up going to sleep around midnight. Then, Liam starts his fussing around 1:00 or 2:00, and we don't fall asleep until around 5:00. Then, Mark wakes up with Maggie around 11:00, and Liam and I sleep until around 12:00. So, even though I am getting enough sleep every day, I hate that my days are just all wacky.
It is draining trying to comfort Liam and I hate seeing him cry and scream for hours. I guess he has his night and days mixed up, and I try to make sure we keep the house bright and full of noise and activity during the day. At night, all the lights are off, we whisper and use subtitles on the TV if it is on. I wish we could take him out more during the day, but we are trying to avoid most public places for now. We have been to Target once, out to Lunch once and also to the park once. Tomorrow, we are going to go for a walk and then the playground for Maggie. Maybe also lunch. I desperately want to get out more...I am so not fond of being stuck in our apartment! I would go out by myself, but Liam is exclusively breastfeeding and I don't have a pump. I am going to get one soon, so we can introduce a bottle in the next upcoming weeks. Then, I will be able to go out sometimes and Mark and I can go on a much needed date!

3 weeks old!

On his birthday

One Week Old:

Three weeks old:
Liam is three weeks old today! It has flown by so quickly. He is getting so, so cute and looks a lot like his sister at this age. I think that means that means that he is going to be as adorable as his big sister!

2010

In 2010 I want to:

• Go on a vacation with my husband. Without children. To a place where I don't have to do anything but relax. And drink. Just kidding...not!
• Go to Canada with both my children. We haven't been since our honeymoon 3 1/2 years ago and we are both missing it!
• See Mark graduate with lots of certifications and get a job (hopefully in Chico!!)
• Spend lots of time with our families.
• Take a lot more pictures and finally have professional family portraits taken.
• Find a church where we feel at home.
• Spend way more time with friends, re-connect with a lot of people that I didn't see a lot this year.
• Bake, and just cook generally, a lot more!
• Be more creative and spend time on projects that I love.
• Get a membership to a gym and actually use it!
• NOT cut my hair...I have decided to grow it out really long for what will probably be the only time in my life. It is already longer than it has been in years!
• Go on more dates with my husband. I can't wait until Liam is old enough to leave with one of his Grandmas. Exclusively breastfeeding makes it hard to be alone!
• Be more joyful and thankful for the wonderful life I have.
• Enroll Maggie in gymnastics and back into swimming lessons.
• Blog a whole lot more than I did last year!!