I can't believe it has been a month since I last posted. Things were pretty stressful around here for a while and it was hard for me to pretend everything was great. The whole "no money" situation was seriously STRESSFUL. Every day was a challenge. I was emotionally a wreck.
And now, we have more money than we have ever had. It's strange. Very strange. I have to learn to budget in a whole different way. But, I like budgeting a lot more than knowing we are just flat broke, of course! Anyway, all is good in the van Veen household.
My pregnancy is going very, very well!! I feel pretty great, honestly. My diabetes is being really well managed. I exercise 5 days a week, and that has helped my blood sugar a lot. It has also kept my weight down. I am currently 2 pounds heavier than my pre-pregnancy weight. I have to admit, I feel great and I will even go as far to say I look great! I love my body right now and I have a confidence I haven't felt in years. The midwives praise me at every appointment, and last week Marie said "I am SO proud of you! You have done an amazing job this pregnancy." Liam is growing, but is evening out so I am not measuring way ahead any more. His heart rate is great and steady and he is already head down. I can't believe I am thirty weeks! He will be here so soon. We are so, so excited to meet our little boy.
Mark is doing really at school, and I am so proud of him. He is really happy and overall seems to enjoy his life much more. He still works one day a week, so he is busy 5 days a week. My mom and Mark's mom each take Maggie for a day with Grandma once a week, so I have had time to get things done around the house, rest, go for walks, cook and..whatever I feel like. It's nice, but I wish I had my own car so I could run errands and things. Maggie loves her time with her Grandma's and I love the relationships she is developing with them. It is so awesome to see her with our families.
There is one issue in our house that I am dealing with: Gidget. Oh, Gidget. She is OLD. She has accidents all the time (at least once or twice a day, and sometimes three or four times a day), even though we take her outside all the time. We take her out every couple of hours, and definitely when we go to bed and when we wake up. If we go anywhere, she gets taken out before we leave. Still, there are puddles and poops to greet us when we return. She forgets what she's doing, and will want in and out of the same room over and over again. She'll stand in the middle of a room, just staring into space for minutes at a time. She is physically okay, can walk well (as well as her three legs carry her), but usually refuses to walk up any step or even out of our front door. It is just really hard to care for her, and we have started talking about how you know it is "time". We know it's not yet, but I have a feeling it might be in the next year. We always said we would wait until she can't walk or can't eat or is really sick. I think those are still our standards, but it is hard to imagine ever actually putting her down. I just can't imagine actually making the decision to end her life. I really hope that one morning she just doesn't wake up. I want her to go peacefully and naturally, although I personally have never know a dog that has died that way. My family, and Mark's, has always made the decision to put our dogs down when it becomes obvious that they are in pain or it is their time. I am scared and sad to make this decision. I think I will really, really feel like an adult when we have to do this. *SOB*