I had a baby and named her Magdalena!! Happy 18 Month Birthday!!!
Maggie so wonderful and perfect. She is talking a lot now, and picks up new words almost every day. She knows body parts and some colors, animals...just so much. She is looking like such a big girl now, sometimes I can't believe my baby is not a baby anymore :( Pictures to come very soon!
Everything is so good right now. I feel so content. I am not struggling right now, which seems a little unusual. It seems like I am used to just being unhappy with myself. But, I'm not. In a time where some many people are so worried, I am not. I am peaceful. I am hopeful. I am confident.
I am just really enjoying my life, and being grateful to God for what I have. My husband is wonderful and I somehow love him more and more every day. My little teeny-tiny house suddenly seems warm, cozy and inviting. I have worked my butt off to clean and re-organize our house, so I now I feel comfortable enough to stay for six more months. I have basically stopped complaining and wow, you feel a lot better about things after that!
It seems like school is really going to happen. I can't believe it. I am applying for the loan next week. I'll actually start soon. It gives me shivers of anticipation to think about it. I can't wait to reveal what I'm studying. As soon as I am officially enrolled, I will let everyone know!!
Friday, February 27, 2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
Winter
About a month ago, my Grandpa died. He was my Dad's Dad, and we weren't really close. I saw him quite a bit growing, at least 3 or 4 times every year. But my grandmother died when I was very young, and she was kind of the glue that held us together.
I didn't think it was going to be hard for me when he died. I thought I would be sad for my dad, but I would be okay. I thought I would cry a few tears at his funeral, and then move on.
But, I was so, so sad. Especially after his memorial service. I cried for days afterwards, and just felt horrible. The memorial service and thoughts of my Grandpa's life swirled in my head when I laid my head down at night.
My Grandpa was not an ordinary man. I knew him only as an old man, an old man who didn't really have interest in his grandchildren. But, he had quite a life and did some simply remarkable things. He was a war hero, a p.o.w. who escaped from a Nazi prison camp and walked across France in order to get home. He should have died many times during his life, but always managed to allude death. He was extremely successful, had an intense personality and definitely was a visionary and an original.
When I saw all my grieving uncles and aunts, all of my somber cousins...it was so real and emotional. The Patriarch was gone. My parents are divorced now. I just felt like it was the end of an era. It was overwhelming and I felt so old.
At the end of the funeral, the Honor Guard from the Air Force came to present a United States Flag to my Dad's family. I have never seen this, and I cannot stress how emotional, beautiful, and haunting this ceremony was. There were two Honor Guards, both women, who slowly marched up the aisles. They carefully and very, very slowly unfolded the flag. Then, Taps was played as they held the flag. Then it was very, very carefully folded again, and presented to my Dad's sister. As the Honor Guard gently placed the flag in my aunt's hands and said "On behalf of the President of the United States, The United States Air Force, and the American People, I thank your Dad for his dedication and his bravery." It was so beautiful and I was truly bawling by the end. I felt so connected to Him, and I felt so... American. Millions of people have heard these condolences before. My Grandmother thought she would have to hear these words sixty years ago, when my Grandpa was a p.o.w for two years. But, God is good, and he came home to her, had five children and lived his life. I was so proud to be his granddaughter, and I felt like for the first time, I really met my Grandfather.
I didn't think it was going to be hard for me when he died. I thought I would be sad for my dad, but I would be okay. I thought I would cry a few tears at his funeral, and then move on.
But, I was so, so sad. Especially after his memorial service. I cried for days afterwards, and just felt horrible. The memorial service and thoughts of my Grandpa's life swirled in my head when I laid my head down at night.
My Grandpa was not an ordinary man. I knew him only as an old man, an old man who didn't really have interest in his grandchildren. But, he had quite a life and did some simply remarkable things. He was a war hero, a p.o.w. who escaped from a Nazi prison camp and walked across France in order to get home. He should have died many times during his life, but always managed to allude death. He was extremely successful, had an intense personality and definitely was a visionary and an original.
When I saw all my grieving uncles and aunts, all of my somber cousins...it was so real and emotional. The Patriarch was gone. My parents are divorced now. I just felt like it was the end of an era. It was overwhelming and I felt so old.
At the end of the funeral, the Honor Guard from the Air Force came to present a United States Flag to my Dad's family. I have never seen this, and I cannot stress how emotional, beautiful, and haunting this ceremony was. There were two Honor Guards, both women, who slowly marched up the aisles. They carefully and very, very slowly unfolded the flag. Then, Taps was played as they held the flag. Then it was very, very carefully folded again, and presented to my Dad's sister. As the Honor Guard gently placed the flag in my aunt's hands and said "On behalf of the President of the United States, The United States Air Force, and the American People, I thank your Dad for his dedication and his bravery." It was so beautiful and I was truly bawling by the end. I felt so connected to Him, and I felt so... American. Millions of people have heard these condolences before. My Grandmother thought she would have to hear these words sixty years ago, when my Grandpa was a p.o.w for two years. But, God is good, and he came home to her, had five children and lived his life. I was so proud to be his granddaughter, and I felt like for the first time, I really met my Grandfather.
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Decision: Housing
So, I think we may have come to a solid decision on moving out: In a little while. We are going to use some of the money to pay for things we have been putting off like getting Mark's truck fixed, a little of it for small necessary improvements (some shelving and things), a tiny bit of it for fun stuff for both of us, and a huge majority into savings. The plan is to keep adding the money that we would been spending on rent into the account for now. And then when we move out (our goal is six months from now), it will be even easier.
We are fine for now, but agreed that we should be focused on moving out. With the three of us, it is tight, but we are all used to it. Our life is simple and uncluttered, and I appreciate that. But it is true that we would like to have another child someday, and we will have to be living in a bigger place, and be completely on our own to do that.
So, that's the decision. Not extremely exciting but, there it is.
Another big decision for me: I have decided to go back to school!! I am going to to do an online program so I can still be at home, and it lasts a solid year. I think I'll keep what I'm studying private for a little while, but I will tell everyone after I'm actually enrolled and stuff. Not like it's weird or something...I have just learned to keep my big mouth shut until something is 100% final. So, that will be a huge commitment as you are expected to devote about 25 hours a week to the program. Thankfully, I have my amazing mom and mother in law to help me with Maggie so I can study. I am so, so excited about this!
We are fine for now, but agreed that we should be focused on moving out. With the three of us, it is tight, but we are all used to it. Our life is simple and uncluttered, and I appreciate that. But it is true that we would like to have another child someday, and we will have to be living in a bigger place, and be completely on our own to do that.
So, that's the decision. Not extremely exciting but, there it is.
Another big decision for me: I have decided to go back to school!! I am going to to do an online program so I can still be at home, and it lasts a solid year. I think I'll keep what I'm studying private for a little while, but I will tell everyone after I'm actually enrolled and stuff. Not like it's weird or something...I have just learned to keep my big mouth shut until something is 100% final. So, that will be a huge commitment as you are expected to devote about 25 hours a week to the program. Thankfully, I have my amazing mom and mother in law to help me with Maggie so I can study. I am so, so excited about this!
Monday, February 02, 2009
Home Matters
I am not even going to apologize for not updating. So there.
Just kidding. I'm sorry.
Things are good. Maggie is perfect. Mark and I are perfect. I guess those are the big things, right? We have been making lots of big decisions lately and we feel so good about that!
We are currently deciding whether to move out or to completely re-do our home. We only have one bedroom and our house is like 450 sq. ft. Maggie has the bedroom and we sleep in the living room. But, we currently pay no rent. Any other place is at the very least $650/month here, plus the deposit. It is such a hard decision!! We have enough to totally refurnish the whole house, including a complete new kitchen from Ikea. I mean, we could seriously upgrade everything in this house. New flooring, new paint, new furniture in every room. New lighting fixtures, shelving...everything. This house needs it. And that would only take half of our savings.
Or we could have a lot more space, our own bedroom and a house that is truly ours, not on loan from a parent. Those might not sound like big things, but they are. We have figured out that our savings will be completely gone in a year if we move out, because we will need it to help supplement Mark's income.
I don't know. I think I'm liking the idea of re-doing the house, and still having extra money. We have never had any extra money, and this year we totally do. It's a good, good feeling. I don't want it to go away! Haha.
What would you do?!
Just kidding. I'm sorry.
Things are good. Maggie is perfect. Mark and I are perfect. I guess those are the big things, right? We have been making lots of big decisions lately and we feel so good about that!
We are currently deciding whether to move out or to completely re-do our home. We only have one bedroom and our house is like 450 sq. ft. Maggie has the bedroom and we sleep in the living room. But, we currently pay no rent. Any other place is at the very least $650/month here, plus the deposit. It is such a hard decision!! We have enough to totally refurnish the whole house, including a complete new kitchen from Ikea. I mean, we could seriously upgrade everything in this house. New flooring, new paint, new furniture in every room. New lighting fixtures, shelving...everything. This house needs it. And that would only take half of our savings.
Or we could have a lot more space, our own bedroom and a house that is truly ours, not on loan from a parent. Those might not sound like big things, but they are. We have figured out that our savings will be completely gone in a year if we move out, because we will need it to help supplement Mark's income.
I don't know. I think I'm liking the idea of re-doing the house, and still having extra money. We have never had any extra money, and this year we totally do. It's a good, good feeling. I don't want it to go away! Haha.
What would you do?!
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