Whine, Whine, Whine

Never in my life has the number "38" seemed so large. 38 more days of this? I am so ready for my baby and so ready to not be pregnant. I hate to complain, to even allow a negative thought to begin to form, but the truth is that this is SO MUCH HARDER than I could have ever imagined. The third trimester has sufficiently kicked my butt. The days of constant vomiting from the first trimester? I would gladly have those back. Honestly. Allow me to vent for a moment. But first, a disclaimer: I LOVE my baby and would do anything for her. I know I am blessed to be expecting a perfect little girl and I know I will look back on these last months and just say "It was so worth it". But, for now...I want this to be over! Things I will be happy to say goodbye to:
1) The scary syringes that I now have to use every night to jab myself in the stomach to give myself insulin. It looks exactly like what I always imagined a heroin needle would look like. The actual needle is sooo long and intimidating. Remember all those "great" numbers I had? Not so great anymore..my after meal blood sugar is still really good, but I cannot get my fasting number down. So, i need a tiny amount of insulin before I go to sleep. Hence the scary, horrible needles.
2) My "kit" as Mark and I call it. Basically, a small black nylon zip-up bag that I have to take everywhere with me that contains my blood sugar meter (a niffy little computer looking thing), my testing strips, my "poker" (a little machine that pokes me and makes a tiny drop of blood form on the surface of my skin), and loads of extra lancets (fancy name for the needles that go in "poker").
3) The INSANE itching that has taken over my body. This is not normal pregnancy itching. It is obsessive, want to scratch my skin off, have bought back scratchers, anti-itch powder, anti-itch creme crazy itching. I itch everywhere and have the disgusting cuts and marks to show it. I just cannot stop scratching, even after I have made myself bleed or given myself friction blisters from all the scratching. Everywhere itches, including my ears and I swear sometimes it feels like my eyeballs itch. Ewww, I know. I gross myself out.
4) The fact that I now sleep an average of 2 1/2-3 hours a night and then get SOOO tired that I pass out sometime around 10:00 am most mornings to get another 3 or 4 hours. I just cannot sleep and most nights I wake up just to scratch for an hour or two. No exaggeration. This Insomnia is kicking my butt hard core! And of course, I get up to pee about 6-8 times a night.
5) My right foot that is so swollen Mark and I affectionately refer to it as Bigfoot. I used to have cute, petite toes that were unusually small. Now they look like cocktail sausages on steroids and I can barely move them. And of course, they itch like crazy and are now covered in the same cuts and blisters that are disfiguring 1/2 of my body.
6)The hormones that are causing my face, chest and back to break out in horrendous, crater-like pimples that are not only ugly, but HURT!! These same hormones that are also giving me skin tags and moles like crazy. Any skin tags I had previous to pregnancy have doubled in size.
7) My restrictive diet that keeps me from eating..I don't know...EVERYTHING I WANT!
8) All the appointments I have. I have to go to the midwives, the diabetic nurse and the nutritionist and I am tired of it. Poo.
9) The Braxton Hicks contractions that have been increasing since last week and are now accompanied by painful cramps. They now wake me up at night and have scared me into thinking "Oh my gosh, is this it?" a couple of times. Then, after a few hours of irregular contractions, they stop.

Okay, that's it. I feel much better. I hope I don't sound too whiny. I just needed to get that off my chest so i can move on and not let these circumstances dictate the next 38 days. Oh yeah, one more thing: I am just plain 'ole sick. I have a really sore throat and aches and chills and everything. I wish I was just having a regular pregnancy, with all the regular uncomfortable things. Thank God I am going to an Encounter this weekend, because I really need some healing and some freedom. One interesting thing: Given my diabetes and the size of my baby, the midwives have told me that they will not let me go past my due date, meaning they will induce on or before September 6th. I am praying that little Magdalena makes her entrance to this world on her own before that. Anyways, if you made it to the end of this whiny post, thanks. And like I said, I really am so grateful for this amazing blessing. The next post will celebrate all the things I love about pregnancy to make up for this one.

48 Days to go?!!

Yes, I know that my due date is only an estimation and Magdalena will most likely not come on that day. But still...48 days?! This pregnancy has FLOWN by. It's starting to wear on me, just a little. I feel HUGE and figuring out this new diet has been hard! When I went to the nutritionist, I found out I hadn't been eating enough carbs, so I have loosened up a bit and I get to eat a lot more. But even that is hard for me. It's not like I'm hungry, but I definitely have to think about food a lot. I wish I could go back to the days of thinking, "that sounds good, I'll eat it!" Now I read every label, count carbs on everything and make sure I mix the right types of food together. And...getting the blood to take my blood sugar...Argh!!! I hate it!!! So, I used to have a fear of needles and blood. So much that I put off my 1 hour glucose test until the last possible day because I was so scared of the needle. What do you do to break off a fear? You do what you fear! I know that I am more than a conqueror, not someone who fears! So, that fear is gone. But, I still don't like it. It still gives me the creeps a little. Other than that, I am doing great. We went to Target today and finished registering, which was so fun! My friends from cell group are throwing me my baby shower next weekend, which should be really fun! Both of my sisters are going to be here for it, and I am SOOO excited to see my oldest sister, and my niece, Amelia, who is seven months old. I haven't seen her since she was eight weeks old!! She is adorable, too. If my sister lets me, I'll definitely post some pictures of her. Mark's family is going to have a little baby shower for me in a few weeks, too, which is awesome. All this fun stuff is getting me through the hard stuff. And, I know she will be here so soon. That's really my motivation. 48 days goes by fast, right? Right?

Looking Good So Far!!

So, I am blessed that my mother in law is a nurse. And on top of that, she used to help people learn how to use their testing machines for diabetes and has a Mom that is diabetic. Basically, she knows a lot about it and as a charge nurse at a rehab hospital, she has access to like...everything. Haha. Anyways, I am enrolled in what she says is an awesome program called "Sweet Success" at the hospital. But, I don't meet the nutritionist until next Wednesday, and I don't meet with the nurse until a week after that. So basically, under normal conditions I wouldn't be able to start tracking my blood sugar levels for about another two weeks (I wouldn't get the machine until I meet the nurse). BUT, my mother in law got me the top of the line brand new tester and showed me how to use it. So, I am really happy that I can bring in about a week of numbers to the nutritionists and my midwives. Wanna know the best part? My numbers are like really, really good already. Like crazy low! It's almost confusing me because they are so low!! I have been on the restricted diet for 3 days and apparently, it's working. Now, apparently only the glucose test (where you drink the yucky stuff and have your blood drawn) can diagnose diabetes, so I still have it, but it is totally being controlled by the diet. I couldn't imagine that the idea of insulin will even come up if these numbers stay the same. I think I was just eating/drinking way too much sugar without even thinking about it. Mark was obsessed with my staying hydrated and would buy me a Gatorade every day and practically force me to drink it. And, like I said, I was loving me some ice cream and carbs!!! Whoops! I kept thinking, I'm pregnant, I've only gained 15 pounds, I can eat what I want. I also really want to do the test again soon, because I don't think I followed the diet closely enough for the three days prior. I was supposed to eat three extra servings of carbs/sugars for three days before the test. Basically, it was too hard for to add those extra carbs because I was eating so many already. So maybe I doomed myself but not following it closely enough. Oh, and did I mention the Oreo milkshake and chicken nuggets I ate at ten o'clock the night before the 3 hour test? I was trying to get in those extra carbs at the last minute..maybe it messed up my fasting blood sugar level. Anyways, I am extremely optimistic about this and it's not so bad at all. Also, Magdalena has been moving like crazy!! She is big enough now that she moves my whole belly. I can sit and watch it forever. It looks like a crazy wave or something! I love it, and so does Mark. I don't get too many kicks any more, mostly because, at 5 pounds, I don't think she has enough room to really draw her leg back and kick me! But, it's great to feel her squirming around in there. I love it!

Not The News I was Waiting to Hear...

Well, it's official. I have been diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes. Grrrr! I read that only 4% of pregnant women get it. 4%! I wish I would have been tested a lot earlier, because I really have no idea how long I have had it for. I am on a strict diet for a couple of weeks, and then if my blood sugar levels don't improve, I will be put on insulin. But, the midwife basically said it was up to me. If I can follow the diet, I should be fine. I haven't met with the nutritionist yet, but the Midwife gave me a diet to follow until I do. Basically, nothing sweet or with sugar is to pass my lips. No fruit, no juice, and obviously no desserts of any kind. I am to eat no processed or boxed foods, only fresh. For breakfast, I am supposed to eat an egg, some bacon, 1 slice of whole grain toast and a glass of milk. I can eat cheese and veggies as snacks, and for lunch I am supposed to have a green salad with protein. I am supposed to have another snack, and I get 1/2 an apple every day. For dinner, meat with vegetables and maybe a whole grain carb. And then yet another snack. And I will have to test my blood sugar when I wake up and two hours after every meal. So....that's what I get to do. Not fun, but I know it's worth it. I'm not worried, just unhappy that I don't get to eat what I want..LOL! I was loving my ice cream before this! No more ice cream for a couple more months. Maybe this is just what I need to jump start a healthier diet for the whole family. I just have to get used to a lot more cooking than I have been doing lately! Mark has gained some "sympathy" weight, too, so he is going to basically be doing the diet with me, just not as strict at all. So, that's the big news around here. So, pray that my glucose levels return to normal with the diet and everybody, eat some ice cream and yummy food for me!!

Happy One Year Anniversary, Cheeser!

Yes, I call my husband Cheeser. And CheesyBum. And pretty much any variation of cheese. I go crazy with nicknames. The more nonsensical, the better. It all started the first year we were dating and he used to make these scary rat faces at me and pretend to bite...so weird, I know. And I called him Ratman after that. From Ratman came all the cheese references. Anyways, today marks one year that I have been married to Cheeser himself. One year ago, I was nervous, a little stressed and ready to get married and go on our honeymoon. It was crazy hot, just like it is this year. I remember watching the hundreds of beads of sweat form on Mark's forehead as we said our vows. But, it was perfect. Our ceremony was Christ-centered and we used our wedding as an opportunity to show all our friends and family that we were fully committed to living for Jesus. It was so powerful and absolutely amazing. Since we married, I have realized how truly blessed I am. My husband is AMAZING! Our marriage is one of the best I've ever seen. Mark is such a gift. He is such a good leader, and loves me in a way I never imagined possible. He always keeps Christ as his example and consistently lays his life down for me. He is so selfless and would gladly give away everything he has. He is my best friend and I love spending time with him. We laugh all the time and he is truly my perfect match. I know that we were created to be married because we compliment each other so well. I know that we will have a powerful ministry together, and together we will have multitudes of spiritual children. I just love him so much, and I am so honored to be his wife and to bare his children. I am so excited to meet our daughter, and see how God mixed the both of us to create a child. I know that our marriage is unique and not at all the norm. It is truly extraordinary. One year ago, we vowed that I would follow Mark as he followed God, and so far it has worked out beautifully. I love you, Marky!!!

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Nope
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Ummm..yesterday. I let my emotions get the best of me..and it was so hot!
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Yes, especially when I really try.
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Turkey
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? A beautiful little girl on the way!
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Heck yeah!
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? It's my main way of attempting to be funny
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes, and they are huge!!! I actually want them out because whenever I get sick, the swell and it makes it hard to breathe.
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Nope. Never.
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE CEREAL? Rice Krispies with bananas or strawberries.
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? No, I think I own wear pair of shoes that has ties.
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Yes. The Lord strengthens me!
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE ICE CREAM? Coffee
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? What they're wearing.
15. RED OR PINK? Pink, for sure.
16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVOURITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? I don't think about those things anymore.
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? My sisters
18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? If they want to
19. WHAT COLOUR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? I'm just wearing a dress, and it's white. No shoes
20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Exactly what I was craving: half a tuna sandwich, a handful of classic Lay's potato chips and a blue raspberry slurpee. Nutritious, huh?
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? The air conditioner
22. IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOUR WOULD YOU BE? Hot Pink
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Mark
25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? Yes, I love her!!! She's my BFF, haha.
26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Not too into sports
28. EYE COLOUR? Light brown
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Nope
30. FAVOURITE FOOD? Honestly, probably pizza or steak
31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Happy endings. I don't ever watch scary movies.
32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? I can't remember!
33. WHAT COLOUR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Still a white dress..oh, but I am wearing a black tank top under it!
34. SUMMER OR WINTER? Winter..although I love summer for the swimming and the BBQ's.
35. HUGS OR KISSES? Both! Hugs from everybody and kisses from Mark!
37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? I don't know who hasn't done this already
38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? See above
39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? Mark (in the Bible) and Redwall to help me fall asleep.
40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Haha, it's a mousepad Mark has had for YEARS and refuses to get rid of..from an old video game that he refers to as a classic.
41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT? Umm, we watched a little Fresh Prince.
42. FAVORITE SOUND? Magdalena's heartbeat
43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Neither. Although, a couple of years ago I would have definitely said the Beatles.
44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? London or Amsterdam.
45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? Being super cool!
46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Chico
47. WHAT SUPERPOWER WOULD YOU LIKE? I think I'll stick with Morgan and Jenna's answer about being able to clean the entire house with a wiggle of my nose!

It's WAY too hot!!

I have been so busy! The weeks keep flying by, and once again, it's Friday. Last weekend, we took once last trip to San Francisco before Magdalena gets here and we had an awesome time! We stayed with my sister and brother in law in Oakley, and then we all went into the city all day Saturday. It was really fun, but it completely wiped me out. We took the BART to the city and did the tourist thing, eating at Hard Rock Cafe and going to Fisherman's Wharf. Then we went to see the Giants play the Diamondbacks at AT&T park. That was really fun, although we had seats way, way, way up and I was so exhausted walking up and down!! The Giants won and it was really fun. I think the most exhausting part was riding the MUNI train back and forth from the BART station, even though it should be only a ten minute ride. Nobody gave up a seat for me, and I had to hold to those handrail things for dear life. My arms and hands were so sore afterwards, because I was so afraid of falling. Mark was holding onto me, too, so that helped. I didn't want to be like "I'm seven months pregnant! Can someone move for me?" so of course I just suffered through it. Oh, well. It's over now..maybe I'm too polite sometimes. I don't like "playing the pregnancy card" and I just keep pushing myself. I talked to the Midwife about it, and she was like "Stop! Listen to your body and if you feel tired, sit down. Don't push yourself too hard." And she forbid me from leaving town anymore. I really wanted to go the Encounter coming up, and I also really wanted to go to conference in San Jose on the 21st of this month. Sigh. Mark will just have to go and report back to me. Well, now on to baby news. Well, I had an ultrasound on Tuesday, and Magdalena is beautiful and perfect. Seriously, she's so gorgeous and such a cutie-pie!!! The 3D ultrasound was amazing and it just took my breath away. She is measuring big, though. The Ultrasound lady estimated that she weighed 4 lbs, 14 oz. The same technician also said over and over again the I was going to fail my 3 hour glucose test because she was positive I have GD. Ugh. I didn't appreciate that and I have been fighting the urge to get really scared about having a 12 pound baby or something. Not like that would be too weird..Mark was 10 and a half pounds when he was born and his mom didn't have GD. I took the three hour test and it was so not fun!! I had to fast for 12 hours (hard for me at this point), then get my blood drawn. Then I had to drink an extremely sugary drink that is twice as sugary as what you drink with the one hour test. It instantly made me nauseous, but I got over it. Then, I had to get my blood drawn every hour for three hours...for a total of four blood draws. Yuck, yuck, yuck. I felt so tired and gross afterwards. I hope I passed it, but I do have a lot of the signs that I have Gestational Diabetes. Oh, well. I have an appointment with the midwives on Monday, so we'll see what they say. Also, the 4th of July was awesome. In the morning/early afternoon, I hung out with a lot of the women from cell group and all their precious little children. We went to One Mile and had a great time having a picnic and swimming. Here's some pictures from the San Fran Trip...and one of our little girl!!