Day 1 of "Baby Boot Camp"

I have been referring to this trip as baby boot camp in my mind, because I know I will spending so much time alone with Amelia. Everything single person I talked to about this trip said "Well, that will be great practice" or something very similar. And it is good practice...but I just know it is nothing like having your own baby. I'm just kinda going through the motions and taking care of her. I'm not at all stressed or worried. There isn't anything too complicated about caring for a six week old. Today was so easy and Amelia is a great baby. She barely ever cries, and she is as sweet as can be. I have been so exhausted since the flight, and I am just starting to feel normal again. Last night, I totally had a breakdown and I didn't feel any better until I read my Bible for like two hours and then I called Mark. My mind was just..failing me, it seemed! Getting sleep helped, too. I can just feel my body saying "You need to sleep a lot more and eat a lot more" because I have not felt good. But, I am getting better and I'm getting used to being in a new place and adjusting to a new schedule. This morning, after my sister and brother-in-law went to work and after I had been watching her for a couple hours, Amelia fell asleep and I knew I had a little bit of time. I was so, so, exhausted and so, so hungry. I had to make a decision to eat first or sleep first, and my body made the decision for me. I fell asleep so fast on the couch, I couldn't even think about food. And every time she made a tiny noise, I would jerk awake and look at her and think "Oh, good...she's still asleep" After about an hour and a half of cat napping for both of us, she woke up and I fed her and changed her and she had some tummy time. Then she fell asleep again and I finally got lunch. Then, I felt so much better. I know, I know. I need to take care of myself. I KNOW!! But, travelling and taking care of a tiny baby is time consuming! I just need to get into a schedule and get enough sleep and I know I'll be better. Okay, now I gotta go get that wonderful, wonderful sleep!

In Texas

Well..I am EXHAUSTED!!! So, Mark and I left at 3:30 in the morning in order for me to catch my 6:00 am flight to Texas. So, it was basically the worst flight imaginable..oh, wait..it was so much worse than I could have ever imagined. Basically, i was so nauseous on the plane and ended up throwing up...and it didn't all make it to the little paper bag. And did I forget to mention I was sandwiched between two other people during this?? It was horrible and embarrassing and most of all, disgusting. Ugh. I will spare you the details, but it was so not fun and I was definitely wishing I was anywhere but there. I wasn't at all nervous about the flying part..probably because I was too distracted by being sick. It was so weird..I guess my stomach is much more sensitive now. I was wishing that Mark was there the whole time, but he wasn't. I already miss my wonderful husband so much! Meeting baby Amelia has been great and she is cute and tiny! I start babysitting tomorrow at 8:00 am, so we should see how that goes. I'm not worried about taking care of her, I'm just sad to be away from my home/life for so long. So, I have a new due date...September 6! I need to update my ticker soon. Okay, I need to go to bed now..I am getting wayyyy toooo tired!

12 Week Ultrasound

Today has been very, very tiring. It has also been a really good day!! So, we woke up and spent way too much time being shuffled around and waiting at Medi-Cal. But, after 1 1/2 hours of waiting, we had an easy breezy meeting and everything is pretty much all done. Sigh. I am so glad to have that headache behind me (well, until I have to deal with them again). The medi-cal office is a giant building that houses all the government aid programs, so there are all sorts of people doing different things and today there was quite a cast of characters. One women started screaming (literally) about some peanuts that were on the floor. She started stomping around and screaming how someone better "f"ing pick up those "f"ing peanuts, until she was so disturbed by them that she left. Weird. Another lady walked past everyone in line saying "I'm not high. I don't smoke weed or do crystal meth." And she started telling racial jokes to random people she didn't know and was generally crazy. I was just standing there thinking "please don't let her stop and talk to me." Thankfully, she walked by. After dealing with that little bucket of fun, I had to go get blood drawn. I hate doing that, but it wasn't so bad, especially with Mark holding my hand. Then, at5:00 pm, the best part of the day..the ultrasound! They got me right in, maybe even a little early, which was awesome because my bladder was really full. So, I had a regular ultrasound and then a vaginal ultrasound, which was fairly hilarious. Anyways...it was incredible. So much fun! I could have watched that all day. At first, it seemed like Baby wasn't moving at all, and Mark and I both admitted that we were slightly scared for a minute. Then, Baby started moving like crazy and didn't stop. Right now, Baby is about 6 cm. long, and I am about 12 weeks 3 days. So, I am little bit farther along than my original due date...about 5 or 6 days. The baby moved around a lot and even jumped from place to place. The baby kept hiding its face behind the placenta, so we never got a clear picture of that, even though the nurse would switch to the 4-D view to give us a better view. We said "How cute!" And "It's so adorable" about a million times. And it was cute. It was a teeny, tiny baby and it was so, so cute. Anyways, we fell in love immediately and it was an awesome experience. So cool!

Yep.

It has been raining all night and all day so far, and I love it! I just like being inside and hearing the rain and having the heater on and feeling all cozy. It hasn't rained very much at all, so I am enjoying it! Yesterday was quiet and I spent most of it hanging out with my Mom at my parents' house. I think I have mentioned it before, but if I haven't..here's an inside glimpse into my marriage: Every night before we go to sleep, Mark and I read out loud to each other. We choose a book together and then read about a chapter a night, rotating who has to read and who gets to listen. We've finished three books since we got married, and right now we're reading a Bill Bryson travel journal called Notes From a Small Island. It's all about him backpacking through England. I read it years ago, before I went to England, and i am loving reading it again with Mark. I highly recommend any books by Bill Bryson. He is hilarious and his travel journals are just one funny adventure after another. I have five of his books..so good!
My brother in law, Ed, is going to Chico for a weekend visit. His plane gets in at midnight tonight, in Oakland, and Mark is picking him up. So, Mark will probably get home at 3:30 or 4:00 am. Yuck. He doesn't have to work tomorrow, but we do have an appointment very early in the morning. We'll see how he manages that. This weekend is so busy for us, which makes me a little sad because I'm leaving Monday morning for two whole weeks! I wanted to spend a lot of time with Mark this weekend, but..oh, well. The best and worst parts of the weekend happen tomorrow. I am getting blood drawn tomorrow, which I absolutely hate..but I'm also getting my first ultrasound!! I am so excited to see our little baby and hopefully get a more accurate due date. Although, I have heard that drinking all that water and waiting for a couple hours is not fun at all. Ugh. This weekend is going to go by so fast and I am a little anxious about flying out to San Antonio by myself. I haven't traveled by myself in five years, and I never liked it. But, It's worth it! I can't believe I finally get to meet my niece. By the end of this trip, I am going to know her very well since I'll be spending 8 hours a day alone with her! I will miss my life here, especially all my friends and my church. I'll miss my cell group. I'll miss Gidget and Chiyo. I'll especially miss Mark! I love him so much and my favorite part of the day is when I see him walk through our front door after work. But, at least my best friend is coming with me. This is corny, but knowing that I have Jesus with me, no matter where I go, really calms me down and makes me feel so secure. No matter where I go, God is with me and the Holy Spirit will guide and comfort me. It's so awesome!

Wow..Are People Really This Rude?

Don't you all just love anonymous comments? Doesn't it make you feel really good to have a stranger abusing you because they stumbled upon your blog and decided they were somehow superior to you? I decided to remove a recent anonymous comment, which I will not repost here, that was really shocking and hurtful. Now, I understand that this person supposedly thought they had good intentions, but...why would you decide that after reading my blog, you actually have a clear view of my diet and my lifestyle? I just don't understand why someone would take the time to work out how much weight they thought I was gaining based on what my blog said I was eating. I didn't realize that I was keeping a food journal for others to scrutinize and mathematically work out what my supposed weight gain would be. Ugh, I am so frustrated and annoyed that I don't even want to blog any more. This person is so off base that it's not even funny, but it still hurts me a lot because I have always struggled with my weight. Yes, I wish my starting weight was lower. I wish I had gotten into better shape before I was pregnant. But, that's not the way it happened. And though I talk about all the yummy food I have been eating..I certainly have not listed everything I eat every day. I have talked about the rich meals, the meals out, and celebrations like Valentine's day..I haven't talked about the bananas, the glasses of milk, the vegetables, the salads and other "good food" I consume every day. It is just ridiculous to assume that I eat ice cream every day, and pizza and everything. AND...because I LOST ten pounds because of morning sickness, my midwife had told me specifically to eat whatever I could keep down...even if it wasn't the best. Now, that I am out of that stage (and I still haven't gained a pound and I am almost 12 weeks pregnant), I am definitely trying to eat healthier. And also, I have mentioned the walks I take every day, but I guess that doesn't count for anything. And also, the thing that makes me most mad, is that this person thinks that I am ignorant enough of my own health and the well being of my baby that I hadn't even considered a healthy diet. Uhhh, HELLO!!! I care about myself and my baby! My midwife didn't even address my weight because I am so healthy, but I cared enough to ask about complications because of it, and I know how much weight I should gain throughout this pregnancy!! And, there is absolutely no freakin' way I will gain 60-70 throughout this pregnancy!!! And even if I did, would it be your business? I haven't gained any weight...even after my intial weight loss. I am still -10 from where I started! It's almost laughable...Ugh. And the way the person talked about presenting me with this information; "I know it's kind of a downer, but.." Like, I was going to read all the statistics and stuff and go "Oh, sigh. I didn't know eating bad food every day would make you gain weight." LOL...so, basically people..I share a lot with you, but not everything!!! I am not interested in advice unless I ask for it, so keep it to yourself if if there is even a slight possibility that your comment might be rude or uncalled for. My life is infinitely more layered and complicated than what I share in this blog. You might know my blog...but you don't know me!! I love having a blog, and I love knowing that other people enjoy reading about little ole me. I don't need everyone who reads it to oohh and awe over me, but just keep anything negative to yourself, okay? Thank you to all of you that do read it, I don't get very many comments always, but I know you're there :) Oh, and one more thought..don't I talk about my wonderful , supportive husband enough that you all know that he cares about me and the baby more than just about anything? He would never let me eat just junk food! Okay, that's it. I'm done. And Anonymous Commenter, I forgive you.

EDITED TO ADD: Anonymous, I understand that were trying to help and you were honestly trying to be nice about it. When I said I forgive you, I meant it. I don't need want this to turn into a whole "thing". I appreciate your apology and sincerely accept it. I don't believe I misinterpreted what was said or took it too hard, because it hurt. But, I am truly over it. It is just hard to accept judgement based on things that I am already very aware of and sensitive towards. I don't hold grudges, and I try really hard to just shrug away offenses. I felt torn between even posting about it at all, but I decided to because I didn't want others to assume what Anonymous had assumed. That's it. Really, I am fine. For some reason, I really want to give Anonymous a hug right now. I hope I didn't ruin your day by embarrassing you. I know you were trying to help.

Weekend Happenings

This weekend was really fun! On Saturday, Mark and woke up really early, around 6:30 and watched Saturday morning cartoons and ate egg Mcmuffins from McDonald's. I have been craving egg mcmuffins like crazy and I could seriously eat them every day. Yummm, so good. And, I have been drinking so much milk. I'll drink like 3 glasses at a time because it just tastes so good. Anyways, we have breakfast super early, stayed up for a couple of hours, and then I got really sleepy and slept for a couple more hours. I woke up, and we went to Round Table for salads and pizza, and then we rented some movies from blockbuster. Later, I made dinner for the first time in about six weeks. My morning sickness is finally gone and I don't really have nay smell or taste aversions any more. So, I made steak, baby broccoli with cheese sauce and mashed potatoes with a sauteed mushroom sauce. For dessert, we had fruit and vanilla tapioca pudding. It was so freakin' good and I am so happy to be cooking again. I am so tired of eating out..I never thought that could be possible, but it is. I love my own cooking...haha. On Sunday, we went to Church and then went out for lunch at Italian Cottage with friends from church. It was really fun. Oh, and I worked in the nursery during the service. It is always busy, but I love it. All the toddlers are so much fun and so cute!! So, in exactly one week, I am leaving to visit my sister in Texas for two whole weeks. She had a baby six weeks ago, and she has to go back to work next week. So, I am going to watch the baby while she and her husband are at work. I wish I could do this for her everyday, but unfortunately Texas is pretty far away from California! At least I'll have these two weeks with my new niece and my sister and brother-in-law. The only bad part is that Mark isn't coming with me. He just can't get the time off from work right now. I am really sad to be away from him for so long. The longest we have ever been apart since we moved in together is five nights, and that was the last time I went to Texas. Now, we're married, I'm pregnant, and I like my husband to be next to me when I fall asleep. But, I know I'll just be so excited to see him after the two weeks, and we'll be able to talk every night. I have my ultrasound on Friday, which I am way excited for. It should be awesome!!

Busy Day

I started off today by waking up and driving over to my parents' house to pick up my brother for lunch. He really wanted to go to Applebees to get an Asian chicken salad, so we went there. I got a chicken fajita rollup and it was really yummy. It was good to catch up with my brother, even though he made fun of our baby names and called them "crazy" and said the boy name wasn't masculine at all. Errrrr! I don't think I'm going to share them with anyone else, because it just wasn't fun to endure that without getting mad. I love, love, love our baby names and no one's opinions will change that!! And, I know that our boy name IS masculine and wonderful. So there. After lunch, I went over to Katie's house to watch Sam while she went out and spent time with her mom. He slept almost the entire time, so I talked to Morgan on the phone, read my Bible and read a couple parenting magazines. And, I achieved a childcare milestone. Somehow, I have managed to avoid ever changing a diaper. No, I haven't been neglectful, just really lucky. I guess because I have only really watched toddlers, and for a few hours at a time, I have managed to avoid it. Anyways, today was apparently my day to take on the dirty diaper challenge. Thank God I have watched enough mommys change diapers that I know how to do it, so I wasn't completely in the dark. But, Sam woke up from his nap and I heard him opening and closing his bedroom door, so I went to check on him...and the smell almost knocked me over. My heart actually started beating harder and I thought..."Well, I gotta get this off of him right now, before I gag to death!" So, long story short, the diaper was changed and the massive poop taken care of. And I think I did a pretty darn good job of it! Katie came home about five minutes later and it was an easy day. Then, I went to Trader Joe's to go grocery shopping for myself and my mother in law, who has been really sick with the flu all week. I even bought her flowers..yes, I am proud of myself. Later tonight, we are going over the Pastors' house for a surprise b-day party for Pastor Scott. That should be really fun!

Score for the Day:

Laura:1, Massive Poop Monster:0

Valentine's Day: Then and Now

Valentine's Day was great. Sigh. It's so nice to be married. The first year we were dating, I made a big deal out of Valentine's Day and I had certain demands that just had to be met. Unfortunately, Mark and I were still living an alcohol and pot soaked life, and he wasn't very good at getting anything done or, heaven forbid, making plans ahead of time. I told him, I wanted a card, some candy (because I just love the idea of chocolates) and I wanted to go to dinner at our favorite sushi place, Tomo, in Arcata, where we were going to HSU at the time. Well, he didn't do anything until the day before, and of course he couldn't get reservations ANYWHERE! Arcata is a very small town, and literally every single restaurant was fully booked. I was livid. It was one of our first major fights, about 9 months after we starting dating. But, he redeemed himself and I love thinking about that Valentine's Day now. He hid some candy and a card under a bench on the campus and then took me on a walk, saying he just wanted to apologize to me. Then, he said "What's that? It looks like a Valentine's gift!" and pointed under the bench and it was just so cute. Then, we packed up picnic and beach supplies, bought a bottle of cheap champagne, got burritos and nachos from a taco truck and spent hours on the beach, eating, talking and having a blast. It was way better than any stuffy restaurant. I remember I was wearing jeans and a hooded T-Shirt and my hair was in a ponytail. I remember thinking that no matter what happened, I could always be happy with Mark. Three years later, I still am and I know God has so many fun and great surprises for our lives. Last night was so much fun! I was feeling exhausted and a little under the weather, so I didn't know if I even wanted to leave the house. We had agreed not to get each other Valentine's day gifts, since we've been really busy and we don't have tons of extra money right now. So, Mark came home and we debated what we were going to do. We had to go to a restaurant that didn't take reservations, so we could get in. After way too much discussion about one simple meal, we finally decided on Tortilla Flats. It's where we had our first date, and we go there all the time. Before I got pregnant, it was one of the few places I ever ordered alcohol, because I love their margaritas. So last night, I got a virgin strawberry daiquiri which was so good and basically tasted like a slurpee. I also got chicken fajitas and mark got carne asada tacos. Between the both of us, we ate..well, A LOT of chips and salsa. That's my favorite part of Tortilla Flats..the chips and salsa! After dinner, we went to Blockbuster and rented Marie Antionette and an old Disney cartoon called the Balck Cauldron. Marie Antionette was really, really good. It was a little slow, but I liked that about it. I think I want to buy it, so I can watch it on days where I want to just slowly move through the day..like a rainy Saturday. The Black Cauldron, which we had both vaguely remembered from childhood was...not good. I thought it was really scary and adult, and I would never recommend it for children. It was just freaky and dark, and we didn't even finish it because it was just not something we felt like we should be watching. I mean, there were cute parts, and it had some happy characters, but it was just really dark for a Disney cartoon. Not my cup of tea, thank you very much. Then, we went to Baskin Robbins and I got a sundae. With a full tummy and a very full and happy heart, we went to bed and read books to each other, while we snuggled with each other and the two pets. Oh, and, of course, Baby was there, too! It was the perfect Valentine's Day!

Why Midwives?

So, before I get too much farther into the pregnancy, I decided to address some questions about using a midwife as opposed to a Doctor. I am using certified nurse midwives, which are registered nurses who become certified midwives. They are highly skilled and well trained. They can prescribe medicine and are definitely medical professionals. They work with a supervising doctor, and were anything to go wrong, that doctor would be there to help out. Midwives have been around for thousands and thousands of years, and midwifery means "with a woman". Midwives endorse natural births, with the mother and family's wishes being the main focus. Midwives stay with you during your whole labor and delivery, as opposed to some doctors who appear "just in time to catch the baby". Midwives believe birth is a natural process, and want to interfere as little as possible. The instances of episiotomies and cesareans are much lower in midwives, because they don't believe they are usually necessary or beneficial. Basically, midwives encourage a birth to be as natural as possible, with lots of feedback and involvement from Mom and family. It's definitely a more natural approach to birth, which fits my vision of childbirth. I know every Mom decides something different, and I respect your decisions. For me, midwives and a natural birth are right for me. I'm not an expert on childbirth (I haven't even gone through it yet!), but I can have faith in this form of childbirth because I am relying on God to support me and be my rock. I know if ALL things are possible through Him, I can certainly have the faith to achieve the childbirth I desire. So far, my midwives rock and I love the people, the atmosphere, everything! I just felt so calm and happy at the office. I weighed myself and did my own protein test when I first got there and I felt..just at ease. Cheryl was so nice and gentle, and honestly it was the most comfortable pap smear I have ever had. And, I could tell she was honestly thrilled when we got to hear the heartbeat. She really cares and it's evident. She even involved Mark and made him feel important, which I really appreciated. I secretly love the "hippiness" factor of midwives. I use to want to be an Earth Mother type of girl, living off the grid in some awesome cabin in a deserted meadow, right next to a stream. And I would spend my days weaving baskets and catching fish. I would still like that, for maybe a month or two a year. An thankfully, Mark's family's house is Canada isn't too far off. It's on an inlet of the ocean, it's in a forest, there is no electricity or hot water, and you can spend your days fishing (probably weaving baskets if you wanted, too!) So, I like indulging in my love of all things natural. I like the idea of another woman, who has seen and assisted many, many births, being there to help me through the whole thing. I love Mark being encouraged to participate, and I already know I won't be embarrassed in front of a midwife. Okay, I'm done. that post went to really weird places. Oh, wait! There's one more really weird thing to share. I have been having insane dreams. So, last night I dreamt that I had the baby and I was showing it to my mom and sisters. And I said, "It's a girl!" And then I pulled back the blanket to reveal my sweet baby...and it was Gidget! I was horrified, but it got worse, when I realized she was licking my nipple, trying to nurse! YUCK!!!! That is so far my #1 crazy pregnancy dream. But, it was really funny. Mark laughed for like a minute when I told him that one. Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!

The Encounter

I could go on and on about the Encounter. I honestly think I could write a book about what God has done during the two Encounters I have attended. But, I'll try to keep it brief and to the point. During this Encounter, God really showed me His love for me as a daughter. I realize now how much rejection I have felt my whole life. My parents were great parents, but there were four kids in my family with a lot going on. I just never felt really loved and adored. I have never felt precious or worthy. And it has affected every aspect of my life. I've spent my life searching for someone or something to fill that hole in my heart. I had lots of boyfriends growing up, always searching for approval and love. When God led me out of that life, and into a marriage with an amazing man, things got a little better. But, not much. Mark is just a man, and he can never fill that empty place. I would be frustrated because no matter how wonderful Mark was, I felt so unloved. I would get so angry and upset and tell him "you don't love me!", which I knew was untrue. But, on the Encounter, God totally met me there and changed my heart. I truly know God's love for me, and it is an intense love! I was blown away when God touched me and said "I need you. I am jealous for you, my precious little girl. I want you to seek Me first, not last. You are so perfect, and I, the God of the Universe, are blown away by your beauty. I want to help you, to rock you and stroke your hair." God is calling me to a new level of intimacy with Him. He is calling me to give everything to Him. All my fears, worry, doubt, anger...I know He wants me to abandon those things and seek and distribute LOVE. I feel like I have been filled with intense love and joy, and I see my whole life differently. I see challenges as opportunity for my faith to grow, and I know God is never going to forsake me. He will always be my Daddy, and I will always be his precious little girl. He loves me, and He wants me to know that he is taking care of me. I feel so great and so free. God is so amazing and all I can do is praise Him!!

The Encounter and My First Appointment

Actually, tomorrow's post will be about the Encounter. I'm just too tired to do it right now and it deserves some extra concentration. This morning, Mark and I went to our first appointment with our midwives. I met Cheryl today and she was super, super nice about everything. I seriously love her already. And I've heard even though all the midwives are different, they are all great. I am so excited to be going there! Anyways, determining an estimated due date was hard with me. I know it will almost certainly change, but right now my EDD is September 10!! Cheryl thinks I am about 10 weeks along, but ordered a sonogram for next Friday!!! Yes! I am so excited to see our little one. Want to know the best part about today? Even though Cheryl warned us that we probably wouldn't be able to hear a heartbeat, we all heard it!!! I was so joyful, I couldn't help but laugh a little, and then it would mess the whole thing up. But we got to hear it for probably ten seconds all together. Mark cried a little, and even Cheryl looked very, very happy. It was a great moment and Mark and I talked about how we will never forget that moment. The moment our baby became another person to us. It seems so much more real. I told Mark that I couldn't really think about it too much, because it started to seem a little too creepy and science fiction-y. Ha ha. Not really, but it so bizarre to think about growing another human being in your stomach. It's such a miracle. We are both so happy and I am really glad we're going to midwives. Everyone was so sweet and caring, and just so nice! Cheryl was even nice enough to refer to my stomach as having a lot of "fluff", instead saying "well, you have a large layer of fat here" or something. She's just so sweet. Apparently everything looks great, and I have pelvic bones made for pushing out babies. She flat out said, "You're going to have no trouble giving birth", which made me very happy. My blood pressure is optimal, and basically my body is healthy. Everything is looking great so far, and for that, I am so thankful! I can't wait for next Friday. Want to know the funniest thing about today? Having a lady you just met looking at your stuff, and then say "Everything just looks great down here. Very good." I feel like I had passed some sort of test that you can't study for. I was approved. Good to go.

Off to the Encounter!

Later today, Mark and I are heading to Richardson Springs to go on our Encounter. Richardson Springs is this awesome little resort that used to be a hotel for the celebrities and the wealthy in like the 1940's. It's about a half an hour outside of Chico, and it's now run by a Christian organization and I know it has a YWAM base on it. It's just a really cool place. The Encounter is not about being in a beautiful place, but I think it certainly helps. In about an hour, I am having coffee with Brooke, a fellow newlywed and one of my wonderful friends at church. I am so excited to hang out with her! Mark is getting off work early, at about 12:30, which is really exciting. We're going to have lunch, run some errands and leave for the Encounter around 4:30. We're going to be there until Sunday afternoon. I still have to pack and get my bedding together and stuff. Better go and do that now. Have a great weekend and I'll post again Sunday night..hopefully with lots of fun pictures!

It has been a Yummy Day!

Today has been fun! It's been raining all day , which I love! Mark managed to get an hour lunch break today, and we went to La Comida with Eric, Morgan, baby Samuel, and our new friend Brandon. I had a rice, bean, and cheese burrito which was so good, even though I couldn't finish the whole thing. I had a great time and the only one missing was Judah. Mark even asked me as we were waiting, "Do know if Judah is coming" and I had to say I didn't think he was coming. Mark was sad, but somehow managed to enjoy himself with only adult company. He just loves that little boy so much. It's so exciting to think that soon we will a child of our own, and one day they will be able to play with Morgan's kids. How fun! I have a feeling our kids will be close. At least I hope so. If we have a boy, I know they will get along fine and be able to play together throughout their lives. But if we have a girl, that could be really funny! Honestly, Mark and I really don't want a boy over a girl or vice versa. We would be equally happy with either. We love little boys and I am more used to little boys. They seem like so much fun. A girl would be awesome, too. I would love to raise a girl and have a mother/daughter relationship. I know Mark's heart would just melt if he had daughter. And the shopping would be easier, but I think shopping for boy stuff is fun, too! I am just excited to find out what we are having. I know I will so excited at either!! Oops...I went off on a tangent there. I was supposed to be talking about my day. After lunch, Mark went back to work, and Morgan and I went shopping! We went to Ross, and I got a really cute shirt. Ross can be overwhelming, but sometimes you find really good stuff! Morgan got a cute shirt and a nice business-y skirt. Then we met with Pastor Nikki at Cal Java and we talked about The Encounter and just about what was going on in our lives. I had such a good time and I always feel a little bit wiser after spending time with these anointed women. Later tonight, my parents are taking us out to dinner at Outback and I am really excited. I already know what I want. I want to get coconut shrimp as an appetizer (I have been craving these so much for some really weird reason) and then i am going to get the chicken griller for dinner, which is a grilled chicken breast over yummy rice and vegetables. I get it almost every time we go there. I realize I talk about food all the time now. What can I say? I've always loved food and cooking. Now that I'm pregnant, I feel much freer to love food. Funny. But, I know when I red people's blogs, I always appreciate the 411 on the food. Speaking of which, I decided I needed to reveal a magnificent sight to you guys. Here's is a picture of the soft Serve Ice Cream cones that I have been eating every three days. And this is only a medium and only costs a little over a dollar! It's not the best picture, but..I tried. Oh, and I wanted to mention the my sister got in a big car accident the other day, and her car was totaled. She is okay, but has whiplash. The worst part is that the guys who hit her didn't have insurance or even a driver's license. Ugh, that is so annoying!! That happened to me before and you just want to ask the person "What were you thinking?!" Thank God, she and her husband have good insurance and it's covered. But, I am just so, so thankful that she's okay and nothing too bad happened to her. I'm sure you're reading this, Sarah...I love you so much!!!

Just Another Wednesday...

Yes. It is finally raining! I love the rain and have been hoping for the rain during this surprisingly dry winter. So, it has been a treat to be able to get up and look out the window and see gray mist. In other news, I have had the worst time sleeping lately. It has been nearly impossible to get comfortable. Last night, I woke up and I was almost hanging off the bed because the dog was lying sideways across the bed, taking up about two feet of precious sleeping space. At first, I thought it was Mark taking up all the space, so I yelled at him to move over. Sorry, Honey! I don't know why...I just feel crowded all the time. I want my own bed. But, that's not going to happen. Part of being married, right? On Monday, I go to my first appointment with my midwives. I really want to know my due date, but I probably won't even know that until I get an ultrasound, which I will probably schedule on Monday. I'm guessing my due date is early September. I would actually be pretty surprised if it wasn't between the last two weeks of August and the first two weeks of September. Things have changed so much in the last month, since finding out about this pregnancy. I'm probably around 10-11 weeks now. I can feel my body changing and I just feel heavy. My nausea has gotten so much better and it is so much easier to get on with a normal life. I'm just hungry a lot now, tired, sore all over, and a little bit emotional. My jeans haven't fit for a couple weeks, but I know I'm also not ready for maternity clothes. I want to get ones of those Bella Bands so i can wear my old pants for a little while longer. My usually stylish outfits have been reduced to stretchy gauchos and whatever clean sweater I can find. I need more clothes!! Morgan and I are going shopping tomorrow, so hopefully I'll find something. The Encounter is in two days! I am so excited. My focus is of course on God, but it's hard not to be a little excited about spending the weekend with our church family. I won't have to cook or clean, and I won't have to think about anything except being encountered by God. I am so excited to see how God transforms everyone, especially all the wonderful ladies in my cell group that are going to an Encounter for the first time. And I know God is going to change me, too. I have been fasting reading magazines for months to help prepare for this encounter, and Mark has been fasting sweets for like six months. When we get home, I am going to make him a cake!

Wiggin' Out

Yikes. Mark told me that his picture was one of the most disgusting things he had ever seen. I think I might have to agree. This isn't even the funniest...he made me promise not to publish the one of him flipping his hair and trying to act "girly" (at my insistence, of course). I love that my husband will go along with anything! He is so much fun!

Dreams, Poodles and Ice Cream Cones

I said this before, but I have been having crazy, insane dreams lately. And half the time they're about the baby. In the last week, I have had dreams of being enormously pregnant and surprised by the size of my belly. I kept walking around asking people "Can you tell I'm pregnant?" And then they would look at me like I was totally insane because I had this gigantic, larger than life stomach. I also dreamt about Angelina Jolie and her son, AGAIN! We had a play date together and then I told her she had the largest lips I had ever seen. I had a dream I bought a car seat and then when I went to install in the car, the whole thing fell apart. And the baby stealing dreams! Apparently I have an unconscious fear that someone is going to steal my baby, because everyone from my parents to old high schools friends have appeared in dreams, all attempting to steal my baby. Last night, it was my mom and I fought her off with a huge lamp. Ha! No one's going to steal my little dream baby. I have also been having ummm... sex dreams for the first time in my life. Crazy. Pregnancy does some pretty funny things to your life. So, you all know about Gidget, the cutest little toy poodle in the world, right? My little baby, one of my best friends, my snuggle bunny? Well, we almost lost her. Like literally, lost her. So, on Friday night, we had the front door open and Mark and I were talking for like a half an hour. Then we noticed... no Gidget. Our house is technically in a backyard, so I wasn't too worried at first. She was probably in the yard. No Gidgey. Well, she escapes a lot to go wander in the front yard, so I figured she would be there. No Gidgey. And then we couldn't find her anywhere. Not in the yards of my neighbors, another popular spot for her to go to. Not anywhere on our street. WE live on a quiet street, but there are major roads all around us. I was so scared that she was gone forever. Mark and I split up and walked around the neighborhood, calling for her and asking anyone we saw if they had seen her. Not a trace of her was to be found. I was really upset and I felt even worse when I realized we hadn't updated her tag with our new phone number or address. Even if someone found her, they wouldn' t be able to get a hold of us. After about an hour, I headed back home, holding back tears. And then, right in front of my neighbor's house, I hear her little tag jingling. And, then, out of our own front yard, Gidget comes tearing down the walkway right towards me. And Mark's cousins follows right behind her, calling "Gidget! Where are you going?" And then he realized she was running to me and I finally got the whole story. Basically, she wandered up front, heard Mark's mom and cousin talking inside, and came to the door to be let in. She has never done that! They didn't know if we were home or what, so they thought it was best just to keep her in their house. I couldn't believe she was at the one place we didn't even consider. She never goes to Mark's Mom's house, so I was so surprised. But, so relieved!! I was so happy that she was safe, and very happy.
So I am officially addicted to soft serve ice cream cones. I want one every day, but I've decided to limit myself to twice a week. I like the chocolate and vanilla swirl ones, upside down in cup, and then I eat them with a spoon. But first I eat the cone. Mmm..now I really want an ice cream cone. At least they're only like a $1.oo at Big Al's, so I'm not going to break the bank as an ice cream junkie.

• My goals for the day:
• Read the Word for an Hour
• Call My Sisters
• Go on a walk and take pictures
• Clean off my coffee table and dining table
• Re-Organize my bulletin board that's covered with five years of pictures and random stuff
• Plan Dinners for the week so I can go shopping
• Buy Something fun for myself (Mark's hard work came paid off and we got his paycheck today..yay!)
• Go to Cell Group tonight
• Get an ice cream cone

That seems like enough for today!

An Absent Husband Part 2

Ugh. Remember my last post about how precious Saturdays are to us, and how much I was looking forward to today? We had plans to majorly clean the house, go to the park and have a picnic, Mark was going to go golfing in the afternoon and go out to dinner. But...Mark's work called him in at noon. AHHHH. This is so frustrating. He has no idea when he'll get home and sometimes he'll be there all night. It's just hard because he was so busy this week. He already worked about 50 hours this week. I miss my husband. I cried when his work called him in. Maybe it's the hormones. So, I decided to clean the house myself, go on a walk, finish my School Of leaders homework, and finish reading To Kill A Mockingbird for the 15th time. I love that book so much, and I love the old movie with Gregory Peck. I used to want to name my daughter Scout or my son Atticus. I still really like the idea, but I don't know if I could really go through with it. I thought about using them for middle names, but naming your child is just so important. If I can use my child's name to show their true identity in Christ, I should. I just want my child to know that we took everything very seriously and saw them as so precious. Precious enough to pray about their name and make it great. And there are so many interesting and cool sounding names in the Bible. So I know our child's name will be unique and special, and have great spiritual meaning. Anyways, I hope Mark isn't gone too long. Hopefully not all night. At least he's a hard worker. I never have to worry about him providing for his family. I really hope next week's better. At least next weekend is the Encounter, so there's no way that Mark will have to work. Okay, off to do some cleaning. And oh yeah, I finally took down the last Christmas decoration this morning. Only...6 weeks late. My bad.

Random Things Going On

1. We are trying to phase the dog out of the bed. She has always slept with us, and she has always managed to take up at least 1/3 of the bed, even though she weighs 9 pounds. I have been SO uncomfortable sleeping lately and I feel crowded constantly. So, the decision was made: Mark stays, Gidget goes :) But, she is so unhappy about this! It takes her about 15 minutes to calm down and stop whining when we go to sleep. The last two nights, she has slept at the foot of the bed. When Mark got up to go to work, she freaked out and wanted in bed with me so bad. Mark finally did put her in bed, because I have enough room without him. She was in heaven and I felt like such a bad mommy. She acted like I had been away for a week. She rubbed up against me, licked my face, jumped all over me and was so thrilled to see me. I feel bad now. Maybe there is enough room for the pup...maybe.

2. I am officially constantly peeing. I was always secretly a little smug because I wasn't one of those women who needed to use the bathroom everywhere I went. Well, I have been knocked off my high horse. I have to pee all the time. Especially at night. Ugh. It is so annoying. Oh, well.

3. Walking is my new favorite activity. Love it so much!!! I have cravings for walks now. I am so in love with Bidwell Park, too.

4. I am so in baby mode. I love babies and kids and wish I could be around them all the time. I love watching them on TV, pictures of them...everything. I love reading blogs about other people's children. I love watching re-runs of America's Funniest Home Videos because there are so many cute and funny kids on that. I was telling Mark how much I wish they still showed "Kids Say The Darnedest Things" because I would watch it all the time. I just love imagining what our little baby will grow up into.

5. I finally cooked something for the first time in 3 weeks. It was a grilled cheese sandwich. I feel like maybe I can start cooking other stuff. I am have been so sick that the idea of preparing food has literally made me throw up. And cooking is one of my favorite things to do. I want it back! Oh well, I guess a grilled cheese sandwich is a good start.

6. I usually love winter, but I want spring to come so badly. I want to wear tank tops and flip flops and skirts. And for some reason, I really want it to be summer. I can't remember exactly what, but I think something exciting is happening at the end of the summer :)

7. I have the best, cutest cat in the world. It's just the way it is.

8. Yea! It's Friday! That means that starting at around 5:30 pm tonight, Mark is all mine for a day and a half! Sundays are so busy for us they're not really a day off, but of course it's totally worth it. So Friday nights and Saturdays are so, so precious to us. I hope we do something fun, like go on a date. I want to go to a movie! And tomorrow, I want to go on long walk and have a picnic in the park. Picnics are the best.