Tuesday, February 13, 2007
I could go on and on about the Encounter. I honestly think I could write a book about what God has done during the two Encounters I have attended. But, I'll try to keep it brief and to the point. During this Encounter, God really showed me His love for me as a daughter. I realize now how much rejection I have felt my whole life. My parents were great parents, but there were four kids in my family with a lot going on. I just never felt really loved and adored. I have never felt precious or worthy. And it has affected every aspect of my life. I've spent my life searching for someone or something to fill that hole in my heart. I had lots of boyfriends growing up, always searching for approval and love. When God led me out of that life, and into a marriage with an amazing man, things got a little better. But, not much. Mark is just a man, and he can never fill that empty place. I would be frustrated because no matter how wonderful Mark was, I felt so unloved. I would get so angry and upset and tell him "you don't love me!", which I knew was untrue. But, on the Encounter, God totally met me there and changed my heart. I truly know God's love for me, and it is an intense love! I was blown away when God touched me and said "I need you. I am jealous for you, my precious little girl. I want you to seek Me first, not last. You are so perfect, and I, the God of the Universe, are blown away by your beauty. I want to help you, to rock you and stroke your hair." God is calling me to a new level of intimacy with Him. He is calling me to give everything to Him. All my fears, worry, doubt, anger...I know He wants me to abandon those things and seek and distribute LOVE. I feel like I have been filled with intense love and joy, and I see my whole life differently. I see challenges as opportunity for my faith to grow, and I know God is never going to forsake me. He will always be my Daddy, and I will always be his precious little girl. He loves me, and He wants me to know that he is taking care of me. I feel so great and so free. God is so amazing and all I can do is praise Him!!