Thursday, November 12, 2015

Three Kids

Three kids. I have three kids. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around that one. Five months after my third child was born and I kind of still can't believe it. 
I was at a birthday party for one of my son's friends and I met another mom of three, who's third son was born days before our daughter. We bonded quickly and talked babies. After an hour or so of chatting, she asked if our third was planned. I admitted she was a surprise and the other mom said, "I'm pretty sure all third children are." Even though that's obviously not true, I definitely laughed.
I'm just beginning the journey of raising three kids, but I wanted to share what it's been like so far for me, and share a few thoughts.

1. People judge you for having more than two kids.
Seriously, it is a totally different experience when I go out with just the baby or the baby and one of her older siblings compared to all three of them.
When I'm alone with the baby, I get all sorts of smiles and people are so polite and rush to hold doors open and ask questions about the baby. When I have all three kids, people seem scared and just stay the heck away. I have gotten some pitiful glances and judgemental looks too, where you can tell the person is thinking,"overpopulation? Ever heard of it?"
And forget about telling someone you just met that you have three kids. Mouths drop open, eyebrows raise and there is always a (probably) well-meaning but unhelpful comment about how busy I must be or how full my hands are. I always laugh and agree that yes, I'm busy because I just don't know what else to say. It's not judgement meant to hurt me, but I just feel like most people in the world think I'm crazy.

2. People assume that your older children are a big help in raising your newest baby.
Okay, I'm not Michelle Duggar here. I don't have an army of teenagers to help with the baby. I have a five year and an eight year old, both who are busy going to school and then doing their own thing when they get home. They're both still so young, really. They're somewhat self sufficient in various ways, but I still have to be actively parenting them throughout the day. 
Also, I feel like having another child has already placed a burden on them in many ways. They absolutely adore their sister and will help by entertaining her while I finish making dinner or grabbing a diaper for me or finding her toy for me while I'm trying to keep her happy. But, that's about the extent of what I ask or expect of them. They're young kids, who just had the attention of their parents divided by three instead of two, who have to listen to a crying baby often, who deal with sleep deprived & sometimes grumpy parents & who realize finances are even tighter now and have to hear "no, I'm sorry, babe, we're not getting that today" way more often than before.
And besides, a five year old and even an 8 year old, makes for a crappy baby sitter. They struggle to hold her safely and the way that makes her comfortable. 
The older two are amazing siblings so far, but no, they aren't a huge help. And that's okay.

3. You & your spouse/partner are officially outnumbered.
Being outnumbered by your children might not seem like a huge deal, but one-on-one time with our kids is almost non existent at this point. And that sucks.
We're constantly figuring out who's in charge of who and trying to make sure everyone gets meaningful time with each parent. And that each parent gets a break when they really need it.

4. Free time/social time doesn't really exist for us right now.
Our kids wake up at 6:45 AM for school and on a good night, they'll all be asleep by 8:30 PM. In between those times, my husband is working and I'm dropping off & picking up kids, trying to get the baby down for naps, trying to keep her happy while making meals, cleaning up and managing homework and crafts and projects for the other two. After my husband gets home, it's a whirlwind of dinner and more cleaning and baths and trying to get a little time with all five of us.
When they're all asleep, I just want to watch TV and eat something not standing at the counter or shoveling it in quickly while I hold a baby. The idea of getting ready and meeting friends for anything after bedtime is just exhausting to me. I probably get some social time about once or twice a month, and half the time we bring the whole family to hang out with our friends.

5. Everyone, including myself, thought I had this whole baby thing figured out.
Nope, nope, nope. I still feel like I have no idea what to do most of the time. I try everything I know and I still find it incredibly difficult to keep my baby happy. Every baby is unique with their own sets of issues and needs, so I don't really find it any easier the third time around. And yes, I did assume my third would be mellow and easier for some unknown reason. Wishful thinking, I guess, because this little girl is the fussiest of the whole lot. But, I'm gonna keep her anyway. Ha.
I could keep going on and on but alas, that's all I have time for. I've been writing this on my iPhone, nursing the third child in bed so she can get a nap and her squirms are telling me my time is up.
More thoughts on having a large family and children with a big space between ages coming soon!

Sunday, November 08, 2015

Hello? this thing on?
So, yeah, it's been over 2 years since my last post. TWO YEARS! I have so been wanting to get back into blogging and I just decided the time is right.

So much has changed since my last post. So many good things and to be honest, so many not so good things. We lived through the hardest time of our lives and are still struggling to completely dig ourselves out of a huge hole we dug.

Our marriage fell apart and we both completely thought it was over. I lived 6 months away from my husband, 2 of those totally separated and 4 of them together but not living together. I learned what it was like to be a single mom. It was the hardest thing I've ever done.

We lost our house and now live with my mom (admittedly in her huge, wonderful house that has enough room for all of us, but still...we are not independent.)

We both left school and found ourselves jobless and saddled with debt.

Our one car stopped working and we were borrowing family member's cars. That was especially humbling.

That was the bad. The bad, ugly truth that I am often too ashamed to talk about in person.

But, then there's the good. The sweet truths that propel me forward every day.

My marriage is stronger than I ever thought possible. I appreciate my husband for who he is right now and feel real joy at calling him my lifelong partner. He is my best friend and I adore raising our children together. 

Years ago, I wrote about my weight loss goals. I made incredible progress and ended up losing 80 pounds!

My children are healthy, happy and thriving at their amazing school. They are incredible, resilient, kind and loving mini humans.

The material things are working themselves out. We have a car again, safe & big enough for all of us. 
My husband is working again and everyday does everything he can to support us. We don't have a lot of extras, but, we have enough. More than enough, really.

There's one more good thing to come out of this crazy period in our lives. One unexpected, amazing surprise that could seem like a burden in a difficult time. One gift I would never have been optimistic or brave enough to ask for.

Her name is Mina Harper and she was born almost exactly five months ago, on June 10th, 2015.  She is our symbol of our love and our hope & determination. 

So, I hope all of this has caught up anyone reading this. Readers used to praise me for my honesty, my bravery at discussing hard stuff. But, there was always a veneer I put on to fit in with all the shiny, happy bloggers. The ones who "are real" but their real is that their gorgeous house is messy and they were too tired to make dinner so they *gasp* bought fast food. Or the ones that "real" because they curse a lot and admit they'd much rather just be drinking wine and binge watching Netflix. That certainly is their version of real and that's cool, but that's not me (ok, drinking wine and Netflix does always sound amazing...)

I always struggled with branding myself and wondering "who is That Kind of Mom"? What does that even mean? What do I bring to the blogging world?

I feel like I know exactly who I am now and what That Kind of Mom is about.
I'm the kind of mom who struggles with the big stuff. The scary stuff...the stuff I've created through my own faults and flaws. Some people (maybe even you!) might look at me as a big hot mess. 

I want to share my journey with whomever can benefit from it. I want to share my story of being a mom of three in my crazy world. I might not have it all, but my God, I have enough. I hope you'll check back in from time to time to see what we're up to. I have big, gigantic dreams for this blog and my family and I'm so excited to commit to writing again. I'll still share recipes, crafts, projects and lots of stories. Stick around, I promise you'll feel better about yourself after you read all the craziness I get myself into. Trust me.

Friday, August 09, 2013

Sponsored Post: GoodNites Underwear Undercover Mission

This is a Sponsored post written by me on behalf of GoodNites. All opinions are 100% mine.

My kids are 3 and 5, and we have been a diaper free family for about a year. Both of my kids were potty-trained pretty painlessly when they were about 2 1/2, and it has been so freeing to not worry about changing diapers. At night though, they need a little extra help sometimes.  My five year old has a lot of trouble falling alseep at night, and like to drink water when she's trying to sleep.  Sometimes, she sleeps so deeply after her being up late that she doesn't wake up to go to the bathroom. We're in the process of taking away her water in bed and trying to get her to get up on her own, but for now, we need a little help to keep her dry at night.  My 3 year old still uses diapers at night to stay dry.

So, when GoodNites offered us a chance to take the GoodNites Underwear Undercover Mission, we were excited to try out the GoodNites underwear (which are basically thin, discreet diapers that you can pull on like underwear).


My kids both tried out the GoodNites underwear for a couple of weeks, and they were awesome.  They look just like underwear and you can't see them under pajamas, which is a huge plus if your child is a little shy or embarrassed that they need a little help staying dry at night. My daughter had a sleepover with her cousin while wearing these, and she was happy that you couldn't see them.




We loved the GoodNites underwear and I think they are perfect for older kids.  They worked great, no leaks, and my kids felt secure and confident wearing them. We are really fans and I would reccomend them to anyone.  If you're going through bed-wetting with your kids, GoodNites has a facebook page where you can connect with other parents, engage in coversation and get some advice. You can also sign up for the Undercover Mission for a chance to win weekly prices.  Sign up through their GoodNites Facebook page or on their website: GoodNites


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Friday, August 02, 2013

My Weight Loss Journey- Week 19

Highest Weight: 250 (2010)
Starting Weight: 238 (03/20/13)
Weight Last Week: 198
Current Weight: 196.8

Liam and I making funny faces together at the Playground by the track I run on.

Well, I think the training for my 1/2 marathon is paying off because I am still losing weight quickly, and trust me, this has been a really bad week of eating.  Like really bad.  

I have been so incredibly stressed and anxious this week, as school is approaching for all of us.  Mark and I are both taking a full load of courses at Chico State, Magdalena is starting  kindergarten, and Liam is starting his first year of preschool.  I am excited that this will be my first semester at a big girl university instead of the (admittedly awesome) community college I have attended for the past 2 years. I'm excited, but also ready to just get my feel for the campus and get comfortable in the art department.

I have unfortunately been making stupid choices with my food this week, and although I haven't gone too overboard calorie-wise, nutritionally my eating hit rock bottom this week and I do not feel great. I seriously feel tired and bloated and full of regret for buying those Doritos and that pizza and that snickers bar and...I'll stop there. I'm all about having yummy treats on a daily basis- but it was kind of all I have been eating. I need to get control of my emotions, make a meal plan for the next couple of weeks and refocus. 

My running is going really well, generally. I did take yesterday off when I shouldn't have, but we were out and about until almost bedtime and I didn't fit it in. It's not a huge deal, but even two days without exercise makes me feel like something is missing...especially when I'm eating more than usual and not making the right choices.

But, generally, I am seeing huge improvements in my endurance levels and even my speed.  I'm up to running 3 miles before needing to stop to walk for a while, and the distance of my long runs are increasing almost every week. Sunday morning, I'll be doing a six-mile run and is totally insane that I'm mostly excited?!

Okay, I pinky-swear I'll get some more before/after pictures pictures up soon! 

Thursday, July 25, 2013

My Weight Loss Journey- Week 18 (a little over 4 months in!)

Highest Weight: 250
Starting Weight: 238 (03/20/13)
Weight  6/27/13: 206
Current Weight: 198

I didn't mean to take a month off from blogging, but stuff happens.  Like summer school.  I just finished a summer school class in Statistics, and we were also busy with family from out of town and friends on the weekends. Also, our sweet kitty, Chiyo, passed away unexpectedly on July 5th and that kind of turned my life upside for a week.

I'm back now, and I'm going to try to fill you in on what's been happening and how my weight loss is going.

 Well, if you did the math you already know that I have lost 40 pounds in the last four months!

I also ran in my first 5K on July 4th and I was really pleased with myself.  I ran it in 38:30, which means each mile was a little over 12 minutes. Considering I ran my first mile in March at a time of 15:30, I am so happy with where I am now.

I loved racing and I immediately knew I wanted to do more.  Like lots more.  Like a 1/2 marathon, to be exact.  So, I chose one long enough away to have time to train for, but not far enough away to allow for me to slack off.  So, I'm running a local 1/2 marathon the first week of November and I'm already in week 2 of training for that. I have a long run of 5 miles this Saturday, which I am nervous and excited for. I've done 6 miles once, and it was hard.  But, I'm ready to keep pushing myself!

I don't have any fancy before/after pictures for you today. I think I'm kind of waiting for a day where I actually wear makeup and get dressed, but that hasn't happened for a while. I need a date night or a girl's night soon!

I'm happy with my progress so far, and I love feeling more in shape, but I don't feel like a different person, really.  I'm still wearing all of my same clothes, although they definitely fit differently.  I'm thinking I'll buy some new clothes after 10 more pounds lost, which will put at 50 pounds lost.

I'm starting my first semester at Chico State next month, and I am so excited to finally be transferring from my community college and continuing my work towards my Fine Arts degree.  I'm really excited that I'll be starting a new school looking good and feeling more confident and in shape.

I know I always say this, but I do really want to start blogging regularly again and keeping you all updated on my journey.  I would like to say that things are calming down for me and I think I'll have more time, but that is only temporary before schools starts. If you want to know what I'm up to on a more regular basis, follow me on Instagram at Thatkindofmom

If you're on Myfitnesspal, let's be friends and motivate each other! My user name is thatkindofmom


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